Taking some sick days from Spanish

Being that I’ve stayed cooped up in my room for the majority of the last four days, I sort of accidentally gave myself a long break from Spanish. I read in English (finished two books), wrote in English (see: this blog, plus many emails), spoke in English (several phone calls home and to other PCVs), and watched English TV for the first time since I’ve entered the west. On the two sicker days I had, I barely left my room other than for meals, so my interaction with my family was minimal, too. I didn’t mean to break from Spanish, but I think my brain probably wanted the break as much as my body was craving the comforts of home.

Of course, realizing this today made me start thinking more about Spanish and language-learning in general. My miraculous leap from Novice-High to Advanced-Low (Did I mentioned that I somehow scored advanced on my last interview, even though I thought I did very poorly indeed? I still don’t believe I really deserve it…but, sorry Manuel, I’ll take it.) over eleven weeks proved I had a great deal amount of latent knowledge hiding in my brain. It just took weeks and weeks to get it out, for it to be in a usable state. My random memory during one of my last Spanish classes in Talanga of the word for skyscrapers, a word I had not said aloud in probably ten years, was impressive but not exactly helpful here in Honduras.

I also got to thinking that Spanish (I think really any second language) seemed so abstract, back when we were learning it in school. Vocabulary is vocabulary (meaning clearly memorization, with occasionally cool tricks or cognates to help the process), but the verbs just seem like memorizing a million rules. You learn this way and that way to conjugate, there are some ways to translate and others where you can’t (i.e. Spanish uses two past tenses), but overall you’re memorizing a bunch of things that have no real meaning to you. It’s the same for the other aspects of language you have to just learn by rote and practice: that most adjectives get put in front of nouns, what’s the difference between por and para (both commonly translated to “for” in English), how to roll your R’s. You memorize and practice and learn, but it’s all to do well on a test or not embarrass yourself during an oral in front of the class. It has no meaning, even though you know there is meaning to some people. But even when you hear others really talking in Spanish (not just your teacher carefully enunciating things you can understand), it’s too fast and complicated for you to follow at your level. Maybe I was just a bad Spanish student, but that’s how I felt.

Until I came to Honduras, of course. Here, Spanish is full of meaning. You realize that each and every verb tense (and sometimes there seems to be millions; just look at the size of the popular 501 Spanish Verbs book) has nuances of meaning that matter to the person listening and the person speaking. It’s the way that they talk, it’s the way they communicate, it’s just the way they naturally sound. No one here thinks about using imperfect or participles or subjunctive. When Spanish speakers are talking, they simply do use them, so that someone else can understand them. Even vocabulary takes on a slightly different meaning, since everything is colored through culture. We never learned the word cheque back in class because it only really means something to Hondurans. We never learned the thousand different ways to use the verb andar because it can be used to mean so many different things depending on when and how you’re using it, depending on who you’re talking about, depending on what real verb you’re substituting it for. And then, there’s just the cultural, rural way of speaking that you should be aware of, and understand, and be able to replicate in part, but to always remember the right and wrong ways to say something in Spanish. You could make the argument that the culture part is the most interesting part of language learning…or at least, a linguistic anthropologist would.

I’m not sure if all that makes sense, or maybe I was just really dumb back in middle/high school, but it definitely took coming here to make Spanish feel real to me. Obviously, it’s a whole lot more useful here, but it was a change in my head, not just in my environment. I’m going to start actively immersing myself a little more, reading Spanish books and magazines and spending more time with my family. I know, too, that I’ll be naturally more immersed as I start to do more than just observe in my community. I did enjoy this little four-day break (minus the sickness part) from life here in general as well as Spanish in particular, but I need to get back in. I do want my Spanish to improve even more by the time I leave. And I’m not any closer to that goal when I read a Jodi Picoult novel, talk on the phone to my dad, or watch an American TV show. Not that I’m going to give up any of these things…but at least now I have it in writing that I know I need to work harder to improve and keep myself immersed in this amazing language and culture I find myself surrounded by. I hold myself accountable to that.

EDIT: This blog post is even a little more relevant, as most of my readers are currently watching the Jets-Miami SNF game, which is partially in Spanish to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month!